Believe me I have tasted of the rain as it fell to earth Believe me When I say that to die is in preference to exist Fuck everyone who sait to me that I'll be alright I'm not alright, I'm not alright, I'm not alright Taste the bourbon rain on my debtor-dead tongue I want to die I need to die I'm going to die Please help me die...

You were right, I should have ended it all You were right, I should have stopped the pain You were right, I was not better off loving you You were right, why did you even waste your time? Leaving me was the easiest thing you'll ever do Just bumbling time, don't tell me otherwise Don't even try, I know i will never love again. So I'll just sit alone and drink, and try to think up a cleaver eulogy. Half a bottle down and my nerve is starting to fade There is one in the chamber because it's all I'll need I don't know how life became so pointless So what's the point in all this?

God told me that I wasn't the kind of man that I needed to be, the kind of man who was worth saving, but to be honest I'm not sure what that means. If being saved is a matter of preference then I'm damn sure I would choose to be unsaved, baby, left here to rot in the streets with the scum and the freaks, these people like me. Rather than the ones who stand there out on the corner with the placards and signs that have them babies carved right up. Man, that makes me wonder if I should have learned better in Sunday school or had something else for breakfast because I think that I'm about to be sick. That could just be the coffee or the cigarettes, or maybe the withdrawal's finally getting to me, we'll see. 'Cause some days you wanna go on when you have to make up for the first thing that you've probably done wrong. I'm not sure you know what I mean. But its time you came clean with me and told me all the stories that you know from when you were just a boy. Young and trapped in the stories that you have never told. And you said to me "You are the sum of your experiences," and you know what, its true. I'm a better man because of the pain and the immense suffering that I've been through. So I'll tell you right now, I think that I'm better off here with you, here with you in my arms, here with you in this place, so beautiful and so perfect. We may not be rich, but we're damn sure not giving up on anything. But baby I'm ready to spill my guts. I think that I've lost, gotten tired, I think I cant find my way back out. I remember back in my life when I was 25 and I had never such that I could die, but you know the reason why, I was wed to a queen of ice and she made me feel that maybe that night in my car when I rolled over there, if I had died I would have spared myself from pain that was due to come on to me for the next few years. And maybe if on that side of the road I hadn't steered across I would be much better off. But I know that I would never had met you and find my perfect life, because i know that the perfect moment is lying with you in your arms so tight. So listen now, did you think that I would give up this easy? You see I'm a broken bitter man. Taken more than you could ever could tell, I have grown past the point of no returning there. Because I have seen the sun above those endless skies. Those endless gray skies can fade to the black of night, but I know the sun is still there. So I'll pull down one more bottle of Maker's to last the night with me. One more beautiful bourbon for me to extend my reign and become the man I was always meant to be. So I know that night, that cold August morn, I was due to survive, whatever was the fate I was due to have. I found by the side of the road, that my heart was bleeding truth so tragically ironic. I don’t know what the fates have managed to weave with my life and In that moment I knew that I had escaped by the skin of my teeth and that no one there was looking out for me. I came down hard; I didn’t recognize the lesson until it was shown to me in your perfect light brown eyes that I could get lost in for years at a time. I think that I’m ready to tell the world now that I’m not ever gonna leave you behind, no I will never leave you behind. Why don’t you come with me so I could sleep inside your hallowed arms. We could share that moment until we escape from a life filled with tragedy and pain. I think that would be swell, what do you think my love? You don’t know what love is until he takes you his arms and holds you tight and wipes away the tears from your face; the kind you have shed over the past few years. And he tells you that “it’ll be alright, my love”, and he kisses you with lips so sweet, and I know that in this moment is all I’ll need from the idea of divinity and God for me because this is heaven enough for me with his arms wrapped around me so tight. Holding away the damning and the demons and those who have haunted me so long, so that the bourbon reign can finally exist, and I can reign over myself because I’m at peace. With this prince with this wonderful man who tells me I beautiful, perfect just the way I am. It means more to me than the world to know that I’m in love. Who gives a fuck if it’s a boy or a girl? I know he’s my perfect one. Reversing damage from the frost and the touch of the cross that has affected me for my whole goddamned life. I know that in this moment I’m where I’m supposed to be. That all the pain in my life that has happened to me was for a reason, and reason explains to me that I could appreciate this man that loves me just as much as I love him. So perfect with his light brown eyes. It seems like to me I was meant to be taken by his love. So just stop trying to change things that you have no control over, it can’t affect you at all. Take a chance on man or a girl and love them with all of your strong beating heart. You’re not as withered as you thought were. Yeah, that’s the case. You’re not as withered as you thought you were. Your heart is still pushing blood through your arteries and veins. You’ll find the one who loves you when least expect it, in places that you never think to look. And I know it sounds fucking hokey but I know it’s true, it’s what happened to me. Oh God, it’s what happened to me. So pour yourself another bottle of that sweet Maker’s Mark and enjoy the feeling. I feel like a life has come back. Now you’re born once again. Wrap your arms around him and tell him how lucky you are to have someone so beautiful. Just let him know how lucky, how lucky you are. But forget the untruth and those worship the unclean, the herald of destruction and sludge. Forget about that God for a minute and focus on the Adonis with his hand down your pants. He is touching your throbbing cock and you know the lust is building inside of you, so lay down with him on the bed that you’ve made. “I hope you feel how I do” you say to him. Your heart is fluttering and he can see it in your eyes. “I think you need know that I’m ready for anything,” he smiles and stares into your eyes. “Are you ready for love?” “More than anything else anything else, that’s what I’m craving from your body, but don’t get me wrong. As you lay on top of me and I writhe in ecstasy I’m perfectly at peace, because you are all I have ever wanted.” Now my hands are on your hips…